| I needed a little vacation anyway. |
[Oct. 19th, 2005|06:38 am] |
I started working nights at the hospital about a month ago, the 7pm to 7:30am shift, and had been making the 5-mile-each-way commute to work by bicycle for a while now.
Last Tuesday morning I was riding home from work when I was hit by a truck at the intersection of Fillmore and Nevada. ( Read more... ) |
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| If it fits |
[May. 15th, 2005|03:50 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  amused | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Shivaree | ] |
I have no gift for storytelling, but I understand that Truth may be more easily conveyed through fiction. Intentionally or not, it’s so easy to mythologize our personal narratives, and present ourselves through the limited voice of some self-consciously wrought persona. Even when the audience is only in our minds.
If I portray myself as something other than a complex and common and often conflicted goofy-ass, I hope you see through it; because we are alike, and I see through you. Take yourself seriously at your own peril, because if I’m not laughing with you...
;) |
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| Help? |
[Aug. 26th, 2004|06:09 pm] |
I'm falling behind in required hours for massage school.
Local folk... friends, acquaintances... lj lurkers... anyone. Let me know that you'd like a student massage. A *therapeutic* massage, so no happy ending. :p
If you have my cell number, use it. Or leave me a comment.
Or email me: kizmahas@gmail.com
Also... join http://www.okcupid.com if you haven't already.
I've met some very interesting people through it. It's addictive. |
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| Must you suck so? |
[Jan. 22nd, 2004|02:37 am] |
I’m usually in love with the world. Really. I believe in the innate goodness of mankind; I believe that most people do what they think is right, most of the time. I tend to be openminded, able to respect and find truth and value in differing views.
But I’ve reached my bullshit saturation point for the day; and that, along with wicked PMS and withdrawal from cheese (my favorite opiate!) means that I currently have no patience for:
- Republicans who support fascist social policies; corporate and "good ole boy" favoritism.
- Democrats who are propelled by white bourgeois guilt, and appeal to the whiny-little-bitch constituency.
- Otherwise intelligent folk, who too frequently adopt knee-jerk or pre-packaged responses to things that deserve careful deliberation.
- The dangerously stupid.
- Obstinate assholes who don’t know how to say "I was wrong" and "I’m sorry."
- Pointless malcontents... who complain constantly, but don’t change what they can.
- Fucktards who seem oblivious to the fact that a little common courtesy benefits all involved, and makes the world run more smoothly.
- Pity-seeking wretches who look for reasons to be miserable.
- People who are frustrated by the ignorance and intolerance of others, so they, in turn, act ignorant and intolerant (blanket Christian-bashing? way to be a hypocrite, dumbass).
- Continuing this list.
The phrase "weapons of mass destruction-related program activities" keeps running through my mind. It sounds like something you'd find in a summer camp for little terrorist masterminds-in-training.
And I’ve run out of steam. Damnit. |
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| As if I could just let it go. :p |
[Oct. 11th, 2003|11:50 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  satisfied | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Steve, snoring faintly. | ] |
We've been having both computer and intranet problems at home, so please forgive my lack of response to lj entries.
This post is mostly for my favorite meat-eating asshole, who has made it his goal to match the obnoxiousness of militant vegans. I actually bothered to look stuff up and put together a fairly thought out response; so... hey, YOU... please, pay attention. And sorry about the delay.
( Read more... ) |
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| Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy... |
[Sep. 19th, 2003|12:55 am] |
Aoncricdg to my fridens pgae, and my fenirds of firndes pgae, an aufwl lot of poplee get the smae dman eilmas.
I've run out of stupid jokes to make in response.
Btw-
that "study" may seem to make sense, but it's not quite that simple.
The ability of the brain to fill in holes with the aid of context and recognition is a well-established phenomenon in cognitive psychology.
Still, it was a clever assertion... even though the person who came up with it should have added an e and r to rscheearch. |
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| QotD |
[Sep. 13th, 2003|06:25 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | amused | ] |
"If you're going to dedicate your career to ranting about the excesses of American capitalism, you probably shouldn't weigh 450 pounds."
--GREG GIRALDO on Michael Moore
::EDIT::
This psychological analysis of Michael Moore made me laugh. |
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| September. |
[Sep. 2nd, 2003|07:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  content | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Nick Drake- Five Leaves Left | ] |
I love this time of year.
The seasonal throngs of tourists have finally dispersed, the brash radiance of summer has tempered, and the air whispers cool intimations of changes to come. Everything is still green; but the perfume of clover blossom and lilac has faded, replaced by the smells of mown grass and burning mesquite.
I enjoy hiking that much more now that cooler weather and relative peace have arrived. Before nightfall, I like to make my way up above the city, and watch from a rocky perch as the sun descends behind the mountains. The sun sets quickly here; but for a few dazzling minutes, a postscript of fiery hues reflects off the clouds.
Then, at twilight’s call, the serenade of crickets and cicadas heightens, and replaces the manmade buzz of day. Listening to their soothing drone, under stars revealed by the darkening sky and distance of twinkling city lights, I find it easy to let go of triviality and feel truly content. |
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| Insomnia: my current drug of choice. |
[Aug. 13th, 2003|06:59 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | anxious but giddy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Amon Tobin- Supermodified | ] |
I don't know if this is simply a manic phase, but I think I've slept a total of six hours since Saturday, not counting the power naps I take at red lights.
The downside is that I am:
alternately zombie-like and over reactive; unable to concentrate; achingly exhausted; chilled, benumbed, and weak.
The upside:
pleasant, floaty feelings of disconnection; delightfully jumbled stream-of-consciousness; increasingly vivid hallucinations.
I think psychosis is just around the corner! Hooray! :D |
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| Population control |
[May. 9th, 2003|05:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  horny | ] |
This planet isn't nearly gay enough; there's way too much procreating going on, in large part by people who really should NOT. If only more religions focused on the best interests of their current constituents rather than upholding that tradition of striving for an ever-growing flock. Maybe then they'd consider homosexuality a virtue instead of a sin.
Here's to sex that seeks no end but pleasure. |
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| poke, poke |
[May. 9th, 2003|12:59 pm] |
Lying in bed, drifting in and out of sleep, I had a fragmented dream about naval soldiers. I imagined them in really gay dress blues crop tops.
“Captain! We’re under attack.”
“Damage report?”
“Well, none sir. But they keep sticking their fingers in our bellybuttons. I really, really hate that.”
“Have you tried evasive action?”
“Yes sir, but they’re sneaky. They get us every time. What do we do?”
“We need SEALS. Navel SEALS. Distribute tubes of superglue to the men.”
No, it’s not funny. But I can’t get the image of Navy boys wearing crop tops, with their navels glued shut out of my head. |
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| I'm cuckoo for cocoa puffs. |
[Apr. 25th, 2003|06:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
In fact, that has been my every meal for the last 24 hours. I reflected upon this, and decided to remove the word "moderation" from my list of LJ interests. I'm not sure why the hell I had it there in the first place.
I also noticed that no one shares my interest in bouncing on balls.
I don't have a chair at my computer; I have a big, green theraball, which is actually therapeutic on multiple levels. Try bouncing on one when you feel depressed. It's a lot more fun than psychotherapy.
Spread the word. |
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| Oooohhh... I want, I want. |
[Apr. 22nd, 2003|06:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hopeful | ] |
Where can I get one of these?
(the bra, not the girl) |
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| What did Jesus say as he was hanging from the cross? |
[Apr. 20th, 2003|09:16 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | full | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Collide- Razor Sharp | ] |
Gee. Hell of a way to spend Easter.
Today was all about the husband's family and hollow religious tradition, enhanced by a sleep-deprived sense of the surreal.
I had forgotten how dull church can be. If Steve insists on a next time, I think I'll wear my remote-control vibrating panties, and tell Steve to hit "on" whenever "Praise be to God," "Hallelujah," and "Amen" are spoken/sung.
My complete lack of interest in the service encouraged me to watch my fellow church-goers, and very few looked like they were happy to be there. The church was so full that we were packed in tightly all the way to the back, which was standing-room only, for almost two hours. Apparently, many attend church for that one day out of the year... subjecting themselves out of a sense of obligation to a dark and somber setting, trying to pay attention to rote readings and recitations... as a perfectly divine day beckons beyond heavy wooden doors, cheerily inspiring a more heartfelt kind of praise when the flock finally re-emerges.
It feels silly and false to me, but it's certainly a small price for keeping the peace with my very Catholic in-laws.
Then the family spent quality time together and stuffed face, which is always a high point for me. :) |
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| S-E-X |
[Nov. 21st, 2002|03:51 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | optimistic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Dream with the Fishes Soundtrack | ] |
Thoughts inspired by the partially posted discourse with ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) pleonastic_boy, and the comments made in response:
I go through cycles. Sometimes I feel frustrated by the wants and needs and limitations of my physical form. I lose sense of it being part of who I am, and feel like I’m really just that voice in my head--a fumbling engineer in the control booth, manning a machine of many quirks that doesn’t always work as well as I’d like. At times I’ve fantasized about peeling back the flesh to reveal a freer essence of being that doesn’t have to deal with the tedium and vulgarity and pain of a corporeal existence.
I’ve also gone through periods when I’ve felt more connected to my body, but weary of the games that come with being a sexual and emotional creature. The fascism of lust and ego, the ache for touch and friction and dizzy distraction, the need to feel pleasing and desired, the drama that can so easily attach itself to simply sought exchanges of warmth and bodily fluids. It sometimes seemed like more trouble than it was worth, and I’d step out for a while, go through an effortlessly celibate phase. A few times that phase lasted for a year or more before my hyper drive reached critical mass and thrust me gleefully back into the game.
But--most of the time--I revel in the sensuous wonder of physicality. I am not simply in my body; I am my body, and all that it touches. My self is not contained in my brain; the rest of my body has an intelligence that hums along in harmony. I adore sex: the intoxicating exploration of another, the loss of boundary and transcendent release, the buzzy high that lingers long after. Even at its most awkward or routine, there has always been some pleasure.
( Read more... ) |
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| Kahlua with soy milk |
[Nov. 20th, 2002|03:35 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drunk | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Redraw the Farm, live | ] |
Our collection of alcohol spans 9 countries. I feel so well-rounded :) |
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| Public Service Message |
[Nov. 6th, 2002|11:29 pm] |
In my personal life and through work, I've known and encountered quite a few people who have unsuccessfully tried to commit suicide. Some are lucky, and incur no lasting damage. Some are left with only minor scars, and the chance to start new. Others end up forever disabled or disfigured to a profound degree.
There are people who have wanted to die for some time because they are incapacitated or in pain, with no end to their suffering in sight... and people who should die, but can’t, thanks to the wonders of modern medicine. I agree that people should not have to live if their quality of life is so poor that they feel they can’t bear it.
But please. Please. If you’re going to kill yourself, do it right! None of this impulsive, under the influence bullshit, else you might find yourself lying in a hospital bed feeling really stupid while someone like me takes care of you.
Research your method thoroughly. Mull it over. Decide how much you care to suffer in those final seconds. Consider consequences; the effect on friends and loved ones; the finality of your decision versus the transient nature of emotion. And if it still seems like the only solution, make sure to plan for contingencies.
Hang your noose in the closed garage with the car running before you slash your wrists- lengthwise, of course- and make sure the gun in your mouth is aimed correctly. Unless you’ve got a surefire overdose in the works, beware of pills that will simply slow down your bleeding. Make sure no one will be around to check on you.
Any other thoughts on this matter? |
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